Ether 7

Orihah reigned for a long time, stayed popular till the end, which lastborn children also love.

He had thirty-one children, twenty-three of whom were male. I’m not going into the whole polygamy thing now. Let’s just say he must have fathered with several mothers. Old men pick younger wives, fertile ones, especially if the men are kings. (And let’s just say that none of the available wives weren’t family.)

In Orihah’s case, he had a son when he was old and he handed the throne to him. The son, Kib, had a son named Corihor, who at the age of 32 defied his father and moved to Nehor. Corihor’s children were so good looking that the whole clan built up a celebrity-cult following.

Cults always get weapons. This cult armed heavily and invaded Moron, where he’d grown up. (This is near what we now call “Desolation.”) He kidnapped his dad the king, which tended to validate Jared’s brother’s prediction about a future national “captivity,” though obliquely, since it was only one guy.

Kib was caged, but had conjugal visits—very progressive for the time. His (latest young trophy?) wife gave birth to a boy named Shule. By the time he was an adult, Shule’s longtime resentment of his half-brother was about to explode.

He was a bit of a brute but a fine metallurgist who specialized in—surprise—making swords. He went up to Ephraim hill and began a small assembly line of them to arm his allies. When they were all fully armed, they attacked Nehor, freed his father and restored him to the throne. Understandably, the ready-for-retirement-despite-being-essentially-in-retirement Kib handed the throne over to Shule.

Shule started to get wives and therefore kids. Meanwhile, Corihor had recanted his father-hatred—a good idea, considering the alternative for defeated rebels. In fact, Shule gave him a post at court.

But, public face-saving notwithstanding, at home Corihor still had an attitude. That attitude rubbed off on his son Noah, who led an uprising not only against Shule but against his own father, Corihor. He defeated Shule’s forces in a skirmish over home turf. He then took Shule to execute him in Moron.

But Shule’s sons snuck into Noah’s house before the execution, killed him, broke their dad out of prison, and literally put him back on the throne.

Noah’s son Cohor took over the reins in his area. He was no threat to Shule, though, who ruled brilliantly.

Essentially, this had turned out to be a civil war that ended in separate states: Shule’s and Cohor’s. That two-state policy never works.

Cohor’s son Nimrod eventually took over and ceded his region back to Shule, who gave him special privileges in return.

A new wave of prophets, though, began to predict doom for the nation if they didn’t give up idol-worship and, uh, “wickedness,” which is usually a euphemism for certain kinds of sins. I think you know what I’m talking about.

Most people hated these fellows and said so. Shule pass a law against prophet-haters.

Prophets had a free travel pass for anywhere in the region. Between the law and the itinerary, the message got out and people got religion. So God backed off his threats.

Not much more to say about Shule. He got some young wives and had more children. He ran a tight judicial ship. And potential enemies used mainly satire instead of slings and arrows.