2 Nephi 9

Jacob again:

I’ve read all this at length to remind you of agreements you made with God, who talked to you for centuries about how peeved he is and how he’ll get over it in time. He’ll evict you then move you back in. I’m just trying to lift your mood. I know you’re trying to figure out what’s happening on this planet, knowing that we’ll all die and rot back into compost.

But the point is, God will get a body too because he has this bizarre idea that he has to do that and suffer like humans and let the bad ones kill him. That’s how he thinks he’ll convince people he’s genuine.

Then, after he dies he’ll come back to life. Did you imagine any differently? He’ll stoop to our level but only to a point. And actually, he’s trying to show that, even though we all die and get thrown away by God because Adam fell, he’s going to bring us all back to life. This is part of the Great Reconciliation, which because God is an infinite being—which we can’t actually understand since we’re not—he would have had to stick with his earlier death-plan forever unless he did this heavenly switcheroo. I’d say he has a lot of chutzpah. But he’s God and can do what he wants.

His idea of mercy is inscrutable. But I’ll take it. Because without him changing the plan or changing his mind, we’d have to move in with the devil forever. Low rent but hot as … you get the picture. And once you move in with someone—we’ve all have this experience—you start to act more and more like each other. I won’t give you the devil’s whole résumé here, but let’s just say he’s a miserable liar who does side deals with dupes so he can sink the world into oblivion.

So yes, I’m pretty happy that God’s going to spade up our graves and even hell itself. A monster, hell. A beast with teeth of fire. We’ll all climb out, a little singed but wiser, no doubt. Hell is really the death of the spirit and we’ve all been there at some point. God will put a stop to it, along with the death of the body, and both parts of us will join again like hands in gloves, ready for work and sports and cooking and reading and every pleasure we can think of that’s not off the approved list.

Oh, we’ll remember all the crap we doled out or was dumped on us our whole lives. And we’ll also remember the ways we tried to be good and hashed out compromises and let bygones be bygones. Our brains will teem with all these recollections as we walk into the final courtroom. If we walk in “righteous”—and that’s a pretty wide category—we walk out that way. If we walk in outright filthy, no scrubbing will get the stain out. We go to hell, a lake of fire—one more paradox to crowd our diseased memory. We’ll pray for everlasting senile dementia.

So don’t underestimate God’s justice. It’s pretty depressing but it’s real.

On the other hand, those who tie their spiritual wagons to the Lamb, with all his revamped paradoxes, will enjoy beyond enjoyment God’s kingdom, which he’s been sprucing up behind the scenes for millions of years. He prefers his paradoxes to the devil’s, that’s for sure. So he fudges with the scales of justice just enough to give us hope.

How does he do that?

It has something to do with him getting a body and suffering like everyone else, even those who get kicked around and starved and whipped and neutered. Somehow his doing that clicks on the “resurrection” (“come alive again”) switch for the human race.

He also demands, encourages, and cajoles us all into changing our behavior, including getting dipped in water, like the Lamb in my brother’s most famous vision. All these things are listed as prerequisites in the salvation catalogue.

He’s given us a law, but remember:

—where there’s no law, no punishment

—where no punishment, no condemnation

—no condemnation, mercy all the way home

Because the Great Reconciliation takes care of justice for anyone who doesn’t know any better. They can’t go to hell. God would yank them back up if the devil started dragging them down. God gave them breath and won’t let the devil strangle them.

But if you have law, you’re responsible for it. You cross it and you’ve wasted your life. Life’s a probation and God’s your probation officer. The law is his handbook. Mess up and you go to the clink forever. (Put all this in context of what I’ve said, though.)

The devil schemes. Men trip up. Women too. Too much education and they can get big heads, forget what worms they are next to God. They shred his advice in favor of their own intuition. Understand why we call someone a “wise guy.” It doesn’t mean he’s wise. It means he spouts off but is really empty-headed. Such people are flushing their lives away.

Don’t get me wrong. School’s good if you don’t ignore God’s teachings.

Being rich, on the other hand, almost always cripples the soul. Money numbs you to poverty, which is everywhere. Or, worst case, it makes you laugh at humble people. Remember the people in that building in Lehi Nephi’s dream. If you’re rich, you’ll tend to worship money. Which will all dissolve one day, just like our corpses.

Bad news for the willfully deaf: death. The willfully blind too. If your heart hasn’t made a covenant with God by cutting part of itself out you will not be able to erase the errors from your mind.

Liars go to hell. Murderers too, but quicker. Whore customers, same destination. Idol-worshippers go there too but the devil makes a fuss over them.

Quick take: If you die as sinners you’ll look God in the face and wilt.

Sin keeps you up at night. Feed your mind with it and you’ll die. Feed your spirit and you can’t die.

I love you, brothers, but you’ve got to listen to me. Don’t forget God’s greatness. To say I’ve been harsh is your way of evading truth. Uncleanness hates a mop or a scrub brush. Cleanliness loves them. You choose which you want to be.

God walks in a straight, tight path toward a gate kept by the Anointed One. One path, one gate. Pretty definitive.

If you knock on the gate and are still proud because of your degrees, tax returns, big house, new car, etc. he won’t open it. You have to crawl, get down on your knees and renounce all those things, at least as criteria for worth. And people who are too “smart” don’t get real wisdom.

I’m going old-school now: I’m taking off my robe and shaking it at you. For you youngsters that means I’m done, in every sense, I’m not taking any more responsibility for you. The dust I’m beating out of my cloak is like your sins. They’re off of me now. I’ve said my peace. Now you need to shake the chains off your neck. The devil has no right to own slaves. Why give him the satisfaction?

Get ready. Justice is coming and you don’t want a stain of guilt on you when it does. Memory catches up with you. You face God and have all this recall swamping your brain and you don’t want to have to say, “Gee, you’re right God. I’ve got nothing. The devil owns me. He’ll suck me dry for eternity.”

Do I need to tell you this? Is this ugly disclosure worth any of our time? If you behaved better couldn’t I have stayed home? Look, if you didn’t need a teacher I’d be out of a job. But you do and this is my lesson.

I hate sin more than any of you, though I need to work on the pride thing.

Now, despite my dismal imagery, God does want you to come to him for unmerited relief. I know this seems paradoxical. That’s one way I make you think. But God is saying all the time, “Come to me and I’ll quench your thirst with free wine and milk. I’ll feed your souls for nothing. Whatever else you spend your life and time on isn’t worth anything.”

If a soul can get fat, I’m the only one with the high-caloric soul-recipes. Why starve your soul?

Pray day and night, asking and thanking. That’s the short circuit to joy.

Try to see how much God reaches out for his children, even after all the threats and joyless pictures, because he has this inner need to show how transcendent he is. He just can’t give up on us, despite our chronic spitting at him. Our seed will actually please him, all suspicions to the contrary. In the family tree of God our branch will sway with heavy fruit.

I’m getting pretty tired. Too much stream-of-consciousness. More tomorrow. Amen.