Mormon 2

Year 326: War was on and I was tall and muscled. So the Nephites chose me as a commander. I was only fifteen, going on sixteen.

Year 327: The Lamanites attacked, scared my men so bad they fled to the north. They—and I—went to Angola City, occupied it and dug in to withstand the next Lamanite assault. They came and routed us.

The same thing happened in Davidland.

We retreated to Joshua by the western seashore. We huddled everyone together for solidarity.

But we were deep in Lamanite-Gadianton territory. And though we were cruising for destruction, no one would repent to try and get God’s vibrant force on our side. So we fought to a virtual impasse, high casualties on both sides, blood-spattered corpses strewn around.

The Lamanites had a king named Aaron. He led a battalion of 44,000. We had only 42,000. But we beat them, forced a mammoth retreat. By this time Year 330 had ended.

At this time my people started some serious self-examination and reformation. They were sort of forced into it by how bad things had gotten: nothing safe that wasn’t nailed down or guarded round the clock. Plus all that occultism. A huge wave of depression set in, whether from guilt or fear, hard to say.

I saw this mass grief and it thrilled me. My old preacherly instincts kicked in. It was as if by dragging people through the hell of war I’d scared the hell out of them. And now people would see how good and clean they’d feel with a full bath in God’s mercy and patience.

Well, that was a waste. The change was shallow and short-lived. They were scared of God and a little mad at him. So they put on masks of contrition, which is really the damndest show of sorrow one can affect. They weren’t sad for sinning, just sad they couldn’t enjoy it quite as much as they used to.

I’d thought they were shaping up. But it wasn’t long before they were foulmouthed about God again and often suicidal with nihilism. They never lost their penchant for self-defense, though, unafraid to lash out if they felt threatened.

So now I was sad again. The only thing amazing about God’s grace was how amazingly thoroughly people rejected it. Especially sad, then, when they were fighting and dying with no hope for postlife perpetuity.

Year 345: The Lamanites took us by surprise and chased us to Jashon, near where Amaron had hidden the plates. I had picked them up by now and was updating them regularly. I wrote in detail on Nephi’s older plates about the sinful epoch we’d undergone. On these newer plates, though, I’m just giving the family-friendly version. (You’d never believe some of the things I’ve seen.)

I’m heartsick, have been for years. People just don’t get it. For me it seems to come easy. So I can lose my patience with the lower grade humans that surround me. I know I’m going to heaven, just as I know they’re not. Am I judging too harshly?

Anyway, that year the Lamanites pursued us northward to Shem. We fortified the city, hunkered down, and hoped for survival.

Year 346: More Lamanite attacks. I spoke vehemently to all the men, telling them they had to stick their chests out and shield their families and houses from these dark-skinned bullies.

That pep talk seemed to do the trick. They stood their ground, stiff-jawed and macho. The Lamanites had a 5 to 3 advantage over us. But our fierce demeanor actually cowered them into retreat.

So we went after them and could have ended all this mess if we’d only been better behaved ourselves, light-skin notwithstanding. We needed some godly bile, some spirit juice. But we were, despite our cultivated attitude, still weak. We needed a spirit we hadn’t earned.

So despite minor successes, I was not happy yet. We were in severe trouble in the long term, no matter how bright our short terms sometimes looked. Don’t get me wrong: we won back essentially all the land we’d lost. But we were vulnerable as a snowman in summer.

Year 350: We made a treaty with the Lamanites and Gadiantons, dividing our lands in exchange for a non-aggression pact. We took the north country down to the narrow neck of land that bridges north and south. The Lamanites took everything south of that.